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What follows is a transcript. Partially edited to make sure nobody I know can be recognized.
--
*sits, having dealt with ducks and kids*
I'm going to put this like this. I heard my sister in law and the kids having a loud conversation outside while I was putting in ice cubes in my canteen.
So I wander out and it turns out the ducks have had ducklings, but the dad duck is a sociopath (always tried to attack my boot for example).
He had managed to eat one duckling's head and neck, torn off another's lower bit of the bill and it was up to me and [sister-in-law] to get the ducklings and their mom out to safety. I had to grab momma duck by the neck to get her on the wheelbarrow and covered with a box of her own ducklings.
The kids were being chaotic around us all the time, and no matter how I tried, when I found the duckling with the broken bill, I tried to do I cleanly and away from the kids.
The niece followed me, and so... me, having wringed the poor thing's head off with my bare hands, holding torso on one hand and head in another, blood on my hands, go "You don't want to see this."
And the girl just looks at me and says "You don't have to hide it. I'm not stupid."
--
After that, I have to say, running with a Jack Russell terrier for a while (the farm is fluid always -- usually I don't need to do this), I taught a magic trick my little child self thought of once to my niece (she's six, and she is awesome).
So, after hauling a momma duck, ducklings and leaving that asshole of a duck dad to hopefully have a date with a hawk, I taught her this.
So, your mom wants to distract you by getting you to find a four-leaf clover.
This is what you do. You get two regular clovers with three leaves, and you start gently, with your fingertips, to get two leaves off one of them. You need to leave the stalk of the one you're working on in working order, and then you fiddle a bit to make sure to combine it with the intact clover. Nota bene, I have not tried to see if spit actually binds them together, but I doubt it will. It's all in the fingertips, squeezing two stalks together tightly.
Voila!
It made me feel a bit better and not like someone whose hands have killed, but taught, at least.
But to be honest, having written Finding the World not too much earlier, this was a bit of a downer for me. And yet, well, life's a learning experience.
--
*sits, having dealt with ducks and kids*
I'm going to put this like this. I heard my sister in law and the kids having a loud conversation outside while I was putting in ice cubes in my canteen.
So I wander out and it turns out the ducks have had ducklings, but the dad duck is a sociopath (always tried to attack my boot for example).
He had managed to eat one duckling's head and neck, torn off another's lower bit of the bill and it was up to me and [sister-in-law] to get the ducklings and their mom out to safety. I had to grab momma duck by the neck to get her on the wheelbarrow and covered with a box of her own ducklings.
The kids were being chaotic around us all the time, and no matter how I tried, when I found the duckling with the broken bill, I tried to do I cleanly and away from the kids.
The niece followed me, and so... me, having wringed the poor thing's head off with my bare hands, holding torso on one hand and head in another, blood on my hands, go "You don't want to see this."
And the girl just looks at me and says "You don't have to hide it. I'm not stupid."
--
After that, I have to say, running with a Jack Russell terrier for a while (the farm is fluid always -- usually I don't need to do this), I taught a magic trick my little child self thought of once to my niece (she's six, and she is awesome).
So, after hauling a momma duck, ducklings and leaving that asshole of a duck dad to hopefully have a date with a hawk, I taught her this.
So, your mom wants to distract you by getting you to find a four-leaf clover.
This is what you do. You get two regular clovers with three leaves, and you start gently, with your fingertips, to get two leaves off one of them. You need to leave the stalk of the one you're working on in working order, and then you fiddle a bit to make sure to combine it with the intact clover. Nota bene, I have not tried to see if spit actually binds them together, but I doubt it will. It's all in the fingertips, squeezing two stalks together tightly.
Voila!
It made me feel a bit better and not like someone whose hands have killed, but taught, at least.
But to be honest, having written Finding the World not too much earlier, this was a bit of a downer for me. And yet, well, life's a learning experience.
